I spent a lot of last week flat on my back plagued by a fearsome cold (or as we say in Australia, and the UK, a fearsome lurgy). On Saturday, recovering at last I did a bit of work on the laptop with my feet folded under me. I like to sit that way, it makes me feel like a hardcore martial artist… or tea ceremony gal. I must be doing it wrong, because these days my feet go numb very easily. Maybe I’m leaning back on my ankles too much. Anyway, unbeknownst to me my left foot had fallen deeply asleep and my right foot was lightly snoozing

I stood up, noticed how absent my feet felt and thought ‘oh dear, I must be very careful as asleep limbs are not supported by muscles and I could do myself an injury. Then I stumbled, my left big toe, freed from the constraints of awkward muscles folded forward under my left foot and then I sort of trod on it. Yes, a new level of clumsiness, I managed to step on my own toe with it’s own foot! There are always new levels to everything. I guess I’m being all I can be whether I like it or not. I felt a distinctly unpleasant sort of twangy feeling and thrashed on the ground for a little while and made little whimpering sounds.

When I got up my toe was still very much attached to my foot and I imagined I would have been thrashing around for a lot longer if I’d ripped some ligament off, so I went to breakfast. In retrospect I should have iced it and strapped it up, but I think it was just grateful everything was still attached. I had a small interlude where I had to sit down so I wouldn’t pass out, but other than that the pain was manageable.

I can curl my toe upwards, but bending it downwards is painful and it’s probably a bit premature to try given the owie it’s recovering from. Walking on it doesn’t hurt so much now that the bruising has come to the surface.

So there you go, for those of you curious, it is possible to step on your own foot with the very same foot. I offer up the photograph of evidence. I strongly suggest you do not repeat my experiment.